You know what they say, "Change is the one constant in life." I am surely feeling it lately. The visual landscape of my house has been in a state of constant flux for the past two weeks. Every time I turn around something is different. It always catches me by surprise, which is the silly thing as I am the one who is doing most of the changing.
Last night we took a bed apart and hauled an empty dresser downstairs. In an effort to present our home as a blank canvas to potential buyers, it loses more and more of its personality. In a way it makes moving easier as the years of our life here are being stripped away one box at a time. All of the pictures are now off the walls. Closets and cupboards are slowly being emptied. Toys are disappearing. And all of our books have literally vanished (oh, how I miss them!).
Unfortunately, some things are not relinquishing their hold on my house - laundry, dirty dishes (though clean dishes have been boxed and moved off-site), scummy showers, and toothpaste-encrusted bathroom counters. If only I could figure out a way to box these things up and haul them away while a house is being prepared for selling. I would be a millionaire.
There also seems to be endless amounts of clutter. Papers that we might need over the next month, but we have no place to put them because normal storage items were extricated previously. Oh, the woes of moving.
The upside is the excitement of change - especially good change. The first thing Djeryd and Sean say when they walk in the door these days is, "I can't wait 'til we move!" Djeryd is excited for a space to leave up his Legos away from Mommy's itchy cleaning-fingers. Sean is excited for an office all to himself and a greatly shortened commute. Erik wants a place to build forts in his room (probably so he can hide all of his dirty laundry in there, instead of under his bed). Anna is clueless. And me - visions of a sun-drenched turquoise design studio have been floating in my head for quite some time.
I find it interesting that we are each excited to be able to carve out a space all our own. It worries me a little, in all honesty, because I truly believe in the saying that "love grows best in little houses." And yet, I hope that by each of us having some space to be alone with ourselves, we will be much more grateful for our time together. And if we aren't on top of each other all the time, the kid-contention level should decrease, right? That is putting a lot of hope and expectation in a structure of shelter. And I believe it is misplaced. The Proclamation on the Family has much more solid guidelines for a happy family - and it has nothing to do with square footage - just don't ask me to give up my studio.
2 years ago
1 comment:
Thanks so much for writing this, MyLiege. Today my neighbor told me that she doesn't know how I do it . . . take care of five children all day without losing my mind. As I went on with my morning after that exchange, I thought carefully about how many other women (and men) have told me that same thing. How their one or two or three children drive them crazy, even though they love them. And I could only come up with one difference that applied in every instance:
I have consciously chosen to NOT distance myself from my children.
I don't work. They don't "go to" school. It hasn't been easy. (Ha!) And I still have plenty of moments and melt-downs. (As do the kids.) But. We have learned how to honestly like each other because we have been together. Not just familial love, but actually, honestly like one another. I don't know what I'll do when they grow up and start off on their own . . . but I hope and pray that we'll have managed to spend enough time together that not only will we have a million more memories than most families, but the friendship that ties my children to me will be strong enough to keep them from disappearing into adulthood without me. (And hopefully they'll come back and live somewhere nearby! lol)
I think you'll find that if you make it priority to spend time together in your new space, you will. Bring the living room table into the kitchen a couple of times a week. Have a sleep over in one of the kids' rooms. Having a studio and office will only mean that you won't necessarily need to call Jen in order to find some quiet. :o)
I wish I had found your blog sooner! You're a joy to read. :o)
Post a Comment