Thursday, April 23, 2009

Thirty Somethings

I love being a thirty something. I loved being thirty the minute it happened, although I was not prepared for the drama that would ensue. Everyone has a different story, but it seems to follow the same basic plot line: mini mid-life crisis. I share this post in the hopes that all of us early-thirty-somethings will find some solace in knowing that we are not alone as we find ourselves suddenly trying to figure out who we are, and then decide if we still want to be the person that we were, or someone new entirely.

When I turned thirty I expected to have it all together, after all, I was an adult - a real adult. I think most of us remember our parents in their thirties. They represented stability and comfort and wisdom. I think that I thought I would suddenly be all of those things when I hit the third decade of my life. To my shock and surprise, I was even more confused about everything than I normally am because there was this sudden pressure to be all put "together".

After a solid year of soul searching I figured out I was just fine to begin with, but now I need to put on a touch more blush (why does the color leave our cheeks???), and start thinking about preventative maintenance for my crow's feet. After talking to girlfriends and following a few good blogs, I realized this "thirty freak out phase" is just a little chapter in a woman's life (particularly full-time homemaking mommies who are desperately seeking validation for the past seven-plus years of diaper changing and piles of laundry that have only gotten larger and more frequent over the years).

Here are the good things that have come from my mini-mid-life crisis:
1. I dress better (no more looking like a sleep-deprived college student who is just trying to make it to her lab on time).
2. The chance to seriously self-reflect and figure out who I really am and who I really want to be.
3. FRIENDS! Why does it feel like I never had them before?
4. I have learned the power of honesty with others - I don't have to be perfect - in fact nobody likes perfect people (hence the discovery of point #3, I think).
5. I like me - even with all of my imperfections. They make me who I am and give me a starting point for all that I want to become.

Those are powerful gifts and, believe me, I have paid a dear price. The happy thought is that we are all in this together (do I hear High School Musical in the background?). I guess I just want to assure each of you that you are not alone (do I hear a Michael McLean song in the background?). This process can be hard and lonely, but it can be the greatest stepping stone if you choose to make the most of it, and not simply try to wait it out. Discover yourself and all that you can be (do I hear an Army recruiting song in the background?). (Oh, my, make me stop!)

4 comments:

Sierra said...

You funny girl (Do I see a movie title here?)
I have begun the evolutionary process from twenty-something to thirty-something. I think I'll post my collage on my blog. Thanks for the listening ear and the great advice!

Leslee said...

Thanks for all the music references. You ain't nobody if you ain't got tunes.
Dad

Leslee said...

I've thought about this post several times since I first read it and decided to share a fifty something comment as well. If you think you are suposed to have it all together at thirty and are exprincing a mini-mid life crisis, just wait until you are fifty or sixty or ??? I don't know if life is ever what you expected it to be when you were young and looking to the future. I'm certainly not anywhere close to where I thought I would be at this age. Maybe that is what a full fledged mid-life crisis is all about. Who am I and what do I really want to be when I grow up or is it too late to be someone else? I guess the best counsel is to live in the moment and be happy with who you are. That doesn't mean we shouldn't always strive to improve, but we really can't compare ourselves to the childhood dream we had before we knew what life was really like.

Annalea said...

MyLiege, this is such a wonderful post, as it really describes a lot about where I am at this point in my life, as well. It's good to know that I'm not as strange as I sometimes think.

Or maybe it's just the two of us. lol

So, you need to come over sometime soon . . . are Thursdays good for you?

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