A Little Light Reading

This is how we found her one night as we were all gathering down to dinner.

She insisted on reading an early childhood education book in order to expand her literary horizons.

Perhaps the material proved a little heavy for her.

Thankfuls

I just wrote four paragraphs about how hard my life is and how messy my entire house is.  Then I stopped, and looked back, and said, “This is a whiney post.”  And so I deleted it.  Because as I was writing about my physical limitations at the moment, I couldn’t help but think of people who are handicapped or permanently disabled or are dying.  And I thought, “Wow!  I am so blessed!”

Every night I write down at least three things I am grateful for.  Sometimes it is something specific to that day, like, “Sean made me a delicious gluten-free, dairy-free banana cake for my birthday today –YUM!” And sometimes it’s more general, like, “Hot water” or “My bed”.

I have so much to be grateful for . . . just to name a few:

*  Within a month this little baby will be out of my belly and in  my arms.

*  Books, books, and more books to while away the hours on my couch.

*  Having the strength and energy and freedom-from-pain long enough to make a whole dinner for my family all by myself.

*  Pencils and paper and pens and notebooks and my dayplanner to sketch and make lists and keep on top of the activities swirling around me.

*  Friends who remembered my birthday.

*  Reading all four Gospels over the past several months and spending a little part of each day walking with my Savior.

*  Finding opportunities to serve, even if they’re small and done from my little living quarters on the couch.

*  Red roses from Sean for Valentine’s Day.

*  Inspiring quotes and ideas (thank you, Pinterest) that help me be a better wife and mother.

*  Moments, that may be few and far between, where I feel so much love for my family I realize nothing in the world could be sweeter than the life I am living right this minute.

Of course, all these nice thoughts are helped along by the fact that the house is nice and quiet with little ones asleep.  The hard part for me is being grateful for all that stuff in the eye of my daily storm.  I’m one of those idiot people that keeps praying for patience – and the Lord lovingly obliges by giving me lots of opportunities to learn and practice patience.  (I’m failing miserably.)  In the meantime, I’ll keep counting my blessings.

Snow Days

Snow started falling Thursday afternoon.

And rapidly filled the yard.

It snowed, and snowed and snowed.

For three whole days.

And then it finally started to rain out Monday afternoon.

A perfect four day weekend.  Love those snow days.

Fringy Flower Jeans

While I do not get around to much sewing these days, I did manage to eek out a little patch job for Miss Anna.  Anna had a very sad looking pair of jeans that kept popping up right before she needed to walk out the door for school.  These were jeans with huge holes in the knees and an unflattering leg shape that just caused bunching at the hem (the jeans have the unflattering leg shape, not my daughter).  If the jeans were getting too short, we would have been in a similar situation with a similar solution.  I’m sure you have a pair or two floating around your house.

I attempted to patch a pair of Erik’s jeans last year and learned a valuable lesson or two.  My biggest problem with Erik’s jeans was that I cut the patches too small and sewed them on very closely to the edges of the holes.  Guess what happens when you do that . . . they rip right out.  Why?  Because the part of the jean the patch is being sewn to is already weak and falling apart – it cannot support the stress knees put on jeans.

With another pair of holey jeans (Anna’s this time), I tried making little iron-on patches with negligible success.  What did I learn?  The patches were (again)too small.  And my super-duper-bonding-iron-on glue was not strong enough for wash and wear.

This time I took all of that good mistake-experience and turned out a sturdy (and adorable) product.  First I cut out a nice big chunk of heavy denim from an old pair of my jeans to use as the support backing for the flower patches (the red and white fabric was glued to one of the denim rectangles).  Then ripped the exterior seam almost all the way up to the pockets so I could work with a flat surface.  I stitched the denim patches to the inside of the jeans, sewing deeply into the good jean fabric and staying away from the frayed, damaged fabric near the original holes.  Then I dug through my ribbons and ruffles scrap box and prettied up those patches.  I made sure the pretty parts were being stitched on all the way through the super-size denim patches inside the jeans.  The result was the patches have two or three concentric stitching rings attaching them to the good, sturdy fabric of the original jeans.

Lastly, to address the problem at the hem I cut strips about 3/8” apart from the hem to about 4”.  I saw this idea in a book called Naturally Fun Parties for Kids by Anni Daulter, and could not wait to try it out on a dying little pair of jeans that deserved a second chance at life.  They are all fray-ey and fuzzy and soft now that they’ve been through the wash a few times.

These are Anna’s current favorite jeans.  They are so unique, though, that she can’t get away with wearing them as often as she would like.  (Seriously, you wear jeans like that every single day, people would notice you haven’t washed your clothes all week.)  I LOVE how they turned out.  Another pair of holey jeans turned up last week.  This one has butterflies and hearts stitched up the sides.  I think I can work with that.

Valentine Treats

I hope your Valentine’s Day was fun.  We gave away our usual lip and mustache lollipops (my favorite) for friend Valentines.  And I made these little S’more packets for the kids as their treat from me.  Now here we are two days later and I think my kids are still bouncing off the walls from all that sugar accumulated over the holiday.  What’s a momma to do?

For My Unborn Child

My morning has been filled with hope and plans for the day.  I took a shower (yea!) and schemed about everything I will accomplish today because I'm feeling pretty okay.  My plans include doing all the laundry, having the dishes done when the kids get home so they  don't have to do them, making muffins for after school snacks, doing yoga, and maybe squeaking in a bit of sewing (I dreamed about Elisabeth's mobile).  And the dining room floor needs a good scrubbing. 

I realize I will be lucky if even one of my plans comes to fruition.

I think if I just push through the hard parts I'll be fine.  My brain echoes with "No pain, no gain!"  My body feels tired today - shoulders, back - like I was doing push-ups in my sleep.  I'm having fakey contractions this morning.  Lots of them, but nothing to stop me in my tracks.  So do I push through it?  Have I been too easy on myself?  Is this another case of me just being dramatic?  Would a million other women be able to handle all this without blinking?  Is it just me?

I keep telling myself, "I am strong.  I am courageous.  I am kind."  But that's not how I feel.  It is an exercise in personal brainwashing.

I think, if I'm going to have contractions all day lying on the couch, or contractions all day accomplishing something - then I may as well get up and do something, right?  But then, when I sit down after being up and about for a while, and I feel that physical relief and my breath slowing down, I realize there is value in the rest.

And I have a beautiful little girl who takes precedence in all of this.  A baby girl who is relying on me to not push to my absolute limits right now.  A daughter who needs her mama to put her first for just a couple more months because I am the sole person who can help her finish making her perfect little body. 

So really, this isn't about me.  At all.  This is about her.  This is about losing myself in complete service to my baby.  Literally offering my whole body and my life for the life of another.  For my daughter.  That's really what all this is about, isn't it?  It's about understanding the Atonement just a little bit better - what it means to love others as Christ loves us.  To understand, in a tiny part, how God loves me.

I will be better.  I will be stronger.  Not the muscle-way, but the spirit-way.  I will be more courageous.  And I will be kinder - facing this challenge with more love in my heart (and in my mouth) not only for my baby, but for my whole family, and for my Savior.  I will be better.

And now I am going to give my best to my husband and our children and our baby by making sure this little one is not under stress of any kind, and has plenty of time to finish growing and getting ready to enter this world, even though it means all my plans are put on hold – for now – for her.

Pretty Pictures

I missed my post for Tuesday.  We had to run some errands Monday night that took us pretty near the temple.  We decided to take a look at the grounds, since we were so close.  I’m so glad we did.  It was truly beautiful and really helped me See Christmas Clearly, not only for the time we walked around the grounds, but for all of Tuesday – it just stayed with me.

(Sean took that one with his iPhone.)

My beautiful thing for today also has to do with a picture, actually 500 of them.  I finally got all the kids’ pictures sent off to Costco for one of their Christmas presents.  It feels like I’ve been working on it forever!  Basically, they will each get about 75 pictures of them from since they were a baby up to present day.  Then I have a whole bunch of family pictures of the kids playing together and hiking as a family and doing stuff with their cousins.  They will get to hunt and peck through those Christmas day to fill up the rest of their individual photo album.  Each child will get a very simple album that they can organize and do whatever they want with.  That way, they will each have something to keep by their beds to pull out when they are feeling lonely or sad or they just want to remember something funny.  I am hoping that seeing all those pictures of them smiling and playing together will help them know they are deeply loved and needed by every member of our family.  Three cheers for getting that one checked off the Christmas to-do list!

Three Beauties

Please forgive my lack of pictures to keep things interesting today.

It was hard to find time to write over the weekend, but I carried on in my quest to find something beautiful each day – to See Christmas Clearly.  Here is what I saw:

Saturday: Anna offered to help wrap presents.  While her enthusiasm for the offer only lasted long enough to wrap one gift, the euphoric thought of me not having to do it all by myself lifted my spirits for the next few hours.

Sunday: The talks in church were about the true gift of Christmas – Christ.  And about giving gifts that really matter – gifts that help bring others to Christ.  It helped me re-think my gift list and holiday to-do list to make sure I am giving and doing what matters most.  I appreciated the opportunity to re-focus.

Monday: I made three batches of strawberry jam before 9:00 this morning.  ‘Nuff said.

(Now I’m going back to bed.)  ;>

Lu’s Art Class

Today has not been my favorite day.  The early morning started out well enough, but by the time the kids had all walked out the door, my enthusiasm for the day evaporated.  I laid on the couch feeling grumpy and uninspired.  And I kept trying with all my little might to find something beautiful about today.  Days like today are the reason I invented my challenge – so I would please, oh, please find someway out of my own self-destructive mess.  I needed some extra help today.  Enter: LuLu – Bad Mood Buster Extraordinaire!

Once I finally forced myself up off the couch to get some lunch (and finally get dressed), LuLu guided me to the table, pulled out colored pencils and put a piece of paper in front of me.  She proceeded to give me an art lesson.  “Take your red pencil and draw a line like this.” “Take your blue pencil and draw a line like this.  Good job!” “Take your black pencil and make circles.”  I made swirly circles, which she totally rolled with, “I like your lollipops.  You make lollipops on your paper and I’ll make circles on my paper.”  And so it went until she felt we were finished with our art.

After some friends left this afternoon (there’s nothing like company to get me dressed and upright), Lu entertained me with song after song after made-up song that had me laughing out loud.  She also instructed me that if I was not going to stand up and dance with her, I needed to “wiggle on the couch” while she sang more songs to me.

My good mood from 7:00am returned and I’ve been busy doing good things ever since.  Alyxandria, thank you for being my beautiful thing today.  Thank you for lifting my spirits and being such a faithful, sweet companion.  It is my joy and privilege to spend each day with you.  I love you, little Lu!  You are a miracle, my love.

Love Notes

A beautiful thing in my life is love notes.  Just the other day I got an email from a friend I haven’t seen in a while.  It was short and simple and sweet – “How are you?” “I’m thinking about you.”  It warmed my heart and made me feel loved and appreciated.

I put a chocolate kiss (the mint truffle kind – yum!) and a little note on the pillows of my little ones yesterday afternoon.  It is something I’ve needed to do for months, but kept procrastinating.  But things have been a little rough around here lately and I felt like it was high time a few words and some chocolate worked its magic.

I think the magic it works is mostly in me.  I pause to really think about how that person has blessed my life.  And I feel blessed because of them – because of who they are and the privilege I have of walking along this path of life with them, even if it is only just crossing paths. 

When we take the time to willingly love another person – to let them know they are loved – we make beautiful things happen both within them and within ourselves.  They feel the warm glow of being appreciated and valued.  And we feel the light and warmth that comes from Heaven telling us we did good in helping another human being feel loved.  That is a beautiful thing.  It helps me see the true magic of Christmas a little more clearly.

Do something beautiful today (and then tell me about it).  ;>

Seeing Christmas Clearly

I had an epiphany of sorts last night.  Without going into the long tear-laced details, let’s just say I realized normal everyday beauty has been missing from my life.  Not that I am not surrounded by a multitude of beautiful things, but I just haven’t been seeing them lately.

Enter my Christmas project: Seeing Christmas Clearly!

I am going to do my very best to see and document something beautiful everyday for the rest of the month.  It may be something I see or do or experience or remember or whatever – but something beautiful.  Something that reminds me that Christ loves me.  That this season celebrates Him.  And if I can see the beauty He pours into my everyday life, I will see Him.

For my Seeing Christmas Clearly post today I have gift tags the littles and I made before school this morning.  We covered the table with scissors and glue sticks and markers and all different kinds of paper and ribbons and yarn and went to town making something a little extra special for those we love the most.  We listened to Christmas music and praised each other’s ideas.  They turned out beautifully and the spirit of the morning was beautiful!  And I felt happy and blessed.

What will you see this Christmas season?

Giving Thanks

Every year I have great plans for holidays, everything from New Year’s to Christmas, including birthdays, and first and last days of school.  I’m going to make them more meaningful, more memorable, more fun.  But inevitably things don’t work out for one reason or another – schedules, health, life circumstances.  Last year Seminary threw a wrench into virtually everything (a good wrench, but a wrench, nonetheless).  This year was going to be different. Alas, it was not to be.  You see, I have a wee little babe in my belly at the moment, and man oh, man, does that wipe me out.

So, while I read some lovely articles on meaningful family traditions for Thanksgiving, I was instantly disappointed knowing these ideas were not going to make it into our celebrations this year.  But then I had a brilliant idea in the middle of dinner one night.  Maybe I wasn’t going to get a Gratitude Tree crafted from branches in my backyard, complete with hand-cut leaves for writing our many blessings on, but we could go round and round the table talking about our blessings.  And a few nights later we could do an ABC list of blessings going around the table again, but only saying a blessing that begins with each letter of the alphabet in order (zippers are an often overlooked blessing).

One quiet Sunday evening, while Sean and Djeryd were gone, the littles and I cut up some scrapbooking cardstock and made Thank You cards for anyone we could think of.  They wrote out cards for teachers and grandparents and cousins, the mailman and garbage man.  Admittedly, after Alyx’s tenth card of nothing but scribbles, I had to put a kibosh on her use of the cards and just give her blank paper for her “writings”.  But the other kids had free reign.  I even decided to leave a little basket of cards and envelopes on the table for the rest of the month so they could say “thanks” whenever the mood struck.

So even though we have not done all the marvelous grateful things I wanted to for the month of November, we have managed to squeak in a few things.  And that makes me happy.  All of it was spontaneous because planning, at the moment, is just an exercise in frustration for me (planning is over-rated anyway).  ;>  I am just grateful we’ve taken a few minutes here and there to take stock of our blessings and the people who bless our lives this month.  It was not what I imagined in my perfect, white-frosty-glowing imagination, but hopefully the kids will take away something from our impromptu “traditions” this year.  I hope they are thankful we took a moment to say “thanks”.

In Process

I thought you all might enjoy a little peak into our house as it has been over the past month, so you can be thankful that it’s not your house.  ;>

Sean and I got this crazy notion to rip out almost all of the flooring downstairs and replace it with hardwood.  (Really, if you think we’re crazy, try living with four little kids and “white” carpet in your dining room.  Believe me, if you don’t start out crazy, you will be shortly.)

We’ve also been wanting to repaint the kitchen and laundry room.

All of that beautifying makes a lot of mess.  The master bedroom is now graced with a piano, which my children wander in and play whenever they darn well please.

And you can no longer walk into the office without taking your life in your hands.

Oh, and then there are the anticipated and unanticipated hiccups.  Always an adventure.

But, things are actually moving along now.  With any luck, we’ll be done by the time my family floods our house for Thanksgivagain.  Ah!  The race is on!  (Sean, you’re amazing, by the way.)

Full story and big reveal coming soon . . . like when it’s actually finished.

LuLu Lops Her Locks

LuLu has curly hair the color of honey.  Aside from a trim here and there to keep things even and tidy, Lu has never had an honest to goodness chop-it-all-off kind of haircut.

That is, until this happened.

It was a late sort of evening.  Family Night, actually, which always seems to push things later than normal.  We thought everyone was downstairs wrapping up the evening with reminders about permissions slips that needed signing, stories from the day that hadn’t been told yet; you know how it is.

Then Anna’s voice rings out, “Mom? You’re gonna want to see this!”  We all raced upstairs. 

Now that was one thing I did not want to see.

My past self would have totally freaked out, I think.  A later me would have sighed heavily, given my three-year-old a pointless lecture and been ticked off the rest of the night.  Instead I just started laughing and sent someone downstairs to get the camera.  The giggles continued was the kids kept finding little piles of hair all around the room, mostly in front of the big mirror that sits on the floor and behind the door where Lu was hiding after the alarm was sounded.

Alyx had taken a fistful of curls off of each side right over her ears.  The back was left long and mullet flashbacks of the 80’s were flooding my brain.  I trotted her into the bathroom (the whole family followed) and we set to work laughing some more and trying to make her presentable in public.

As much as I miss her lovely locks, she’s so stinkin’ cute that I’m equally tickled with her little mess of pixie curls.  The moral of the story is: When life gives you fistfuls of perfectly good hair (that should be attached to your three-year-old’s head) . . . laugh . . . and make sure you grab the camera.

Applesauce–Yum!

A week or two ago Alyx and I picked up a book from the library called Applesauce Season by Eden Ross Lipson.  That book made applesauce-making look so easy and so fun and so yummy that I could not pass up the apples at the grocery store yesterday.  It’s apple season so prices are great and the fruit is fresh and crispy and juicy. 

We followed the instructions from the simple picture book and made the very best applesauce we’ve ever had.  Delicious!  The littles had to go to bed before we finished, so Djeryd, Sean and I took care of the last few steps.  This morning we had pancakes and fresh applesauce.  It all felt so good and homey and comforting in the way food can be when you know it is made with love.  I may not eek out another batch this season, but I feel good about making even just this one small one with my children.  A lot of apples, a little sugar and spice, a lot of love, and a memory.  Yummy!