A Break

Tonight was unusual in that we all walked in the door at the same time. Coincidentally we were all hungry, tired and cranky. Oh, and I forgot to mention, the house was messy (surprise, surprise). As we all stumbled into the living room, tripping over coats and backpacks and unfinished homework and mounds of Valentines and candy wrappers (does anyone else find the extent to which Valentines are carried these days absolutely ridiculous - remember when you only got candy on Halloween?), patience wore thin and frustration began running high. Everybody started to lose it - not a pretty sight.

I am an escapist. I learned the art form from close examination of my father when I was a child. As I have matured I have honed it into a skill that I employ from time to time when my coping abilities are stretched beyond comfortable levels. Usually this means I escape either before or after dinner to the library or the fabric store or just an empty parking lot down the road where I can hear myself think. Tonight I thought it best to bring Sean along for the ride. "Honey, let's call Jen to watch the kids, and go out to dinner."

I have never been thanked so much for spending money! It was just the break we needed. While we waited for our babysitter to arrive (she was still at school - after school), Sean calmly made dinner for the kids and the babysitter, and I calmly helped Djeryd with homework. Just knowing we were on our way out the door - escaping - helped us to calm down and deal with things in a loving, rational manner. We knew that by 6:30pm we would be the heck out of Dodge. So we could be cheerful and calm for the hour that we had left.

I don't think we give ourselves permission to take real breaks often enough. I know that sometimes in the middle of the day I will take a break, but I am not mindful of it, so I do not revel in the break. I do not emerge from 20 minutes of reading, or knitting, or staring out the window refreshed if I am not conscious of the desire to be refreshed, of enjoying my task thoroughly because I may not get another 20 minutes to do exactly what I want to do until tomorrow.

Sean and I were fully aware of tonight being a break. Our lives have felt so stressful lately for a variety of reasons (not the least of which is moving). We are stressed out with ourselves and our kids and circumstances and a house that has to be ready to show to perfect strangers at any time. We chose tonight to take a full, conscious break. We savored every moment of our escape (and the most amazing spinach and artichoke dip I have ever had!). And I feel refreshed. I feel ready for tomorrow, and excited to spend it with my children (and my sister - yea!!!!!!). And I am grateful to our dear little babysitter who squeezed us into her hectic schedule so we could take a break.