Life

I have been dying to blog lately, but life has been nuts.  I would love to post pictures about my latest projects and my adorable family, but all that is just a little over my head right now.  I am trying to do too many things in too short a time and trying to enjoy it all (seriously, like I am trying to establish a love affair with a never-ending laundry pile – so far the relationship is rather strained).  Summer is fast approaching and the calendar is filling faster than I can schedule.  Two of our kids are giving us a run for our money at the moment.  Yesterday I committed one of my cardinal sins (it is one of my very worst habits – yes, habit, meaning I repeat it constantly): I actually told my daughter cleaning my house was more important to me at that moment than playing a game with her.  Yes, I tried to make up for it, but I still can’t believe the words actually came out of my mouth and into her ears. 

Last night, when all was quiet and peaceful, I was writing in my journal about how much I love my children and love being with them.  Then, this morning, directly after reading half of Elder Ballard’s talk about the power of righteous mothers, I yelled at my son for stuffing all of his beautifully folded laundry into his drawers in total chaos – unfolding many of them in the process.  I’m sure there was a nicer way to handle that one.  I sent my kids out the door this morning with one giant sigh because the negativity of the twenty minutes I spent with my kids this morning was a little overwhelming.  I watched them walk across the field in the rain and almost called them back to drive them to school.  I didn’t.  Instead I went in my room and mourned the morning.  Then, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but two little boys returning home because today is late start (I forgot, like usual).  Yea!  A chance to redeem myself.  A chance to hold my tongue, to say “yes”, to hug them and kiss them again, to say “sorry”, to drive them to school so they won’t get soaked, to listen to them play with one another, to reflect on how much I love being their mother.

I think one of the wonderful things about life and about repentance, about the gospel of Jesus Christ, is second chances.  I know I can always try again.  I can always say “sorry” and start over.  I can always improve.  The potential to be so much more than I am at this moment is always available to me.

Now, I realize in the time I have blogged about the real parts of my life I could have posted some lovely pictures of my baby or a dress I just finished.  But I didn’t.  Instead I shared a piece of me, a deep-down-chocolate-layer piece of me.  Thanks for reading, and still coming back.