We are so not good about our kids having friends over. I can’t decide if I’m too tired or lazy or if I just like having my kids all to myself. I want to encourage my kiddos to have friends over to play and hang out, but it just does not seem to be working. Does anybody have any suggestions on how to nurture this part in a child’s life. They play with cousins once a week or so, but they have virtually no interaction with neighborhood children or even kids from church outside of the church or scout setting. We do not do sleepovers at all, but we do encourage late-overs (so far they only happen once a year on Djeryd’s birthday). The other thing is I feel more comfortable with kids coming over to our house and not my kids going to someone else’s house. I seriously need some advice. I think this is an important part of my kids’ lives that I am neglecting. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance. ;>
3 years ago
2 comments:
My favorite homeschooling guide ever, Leadership Education: the Phases of Learning by Olive and Rachel DeMille, addresses this very thing. In the DeMille family, they invite families over and cultivate friendships between their family and other families with similarly-aged children. Their reasoning is that it's safer, healthier, and all-round better for everyone involved to have the rich interaction that happens between two families. Right now we're living in a neighborhood with several other ward-member families, and my children have spent a lot of time playing with friends at their homes; and I look forward to when we'll be able to follow the whole-family-friendship model a little more after we move out to our place. (Patience. Patience.)
One other thought is, honestly, your children might be getting all of the child-level social interaction they need right now. Even children that are homeschooled often are just fine with one cousin-play-session a week and church meetings/activities outside of their interaction in the home. So, go with your own personal inspiration.
Good luck!
I have that book as well, and I think it's a great concept to make family friendships. It also mentions sending your kids as pairs (at least), if they are going to somewhere else to play. I do that with my girls and their friends down the street. They take care of each other that way. It's harder with Montana to have a family buddy go with him, but he's old enough now that I don't worry about it when he goes to his friend's house. I agree that the church/scout meetings can be enough socializing. If your kids aren't demanding more, that may be all they want.
Sometimes a kid will find one person they like to play with, and I try to get to know that one kid and see if I like their traits. If they seem okay, and if the parents also seem good, then I'm okay with them coming to our house, or even an older child going to their house to play. It's all about what you and your kids are comfortable with, and every kid is different.
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