School Days

Life is starting to settle into a routine of sorts around here.  It seems there is always something a little out of the ordinary to keep things interesting, but nothing major.  The days begin with scriptures and then the big kids start trickling out the door.  Alyx and I walk the “middles” (Erik and Anna) to school and leisurely find our way back home.

Alyx insists on stopping for a spell at a bench about three-quarters of the way home. We stop and visit for as long as she likes. I am thinking of toting my camera out every morning and capturing the year from that little bench. I think it would be fun.

Alyx usually plays pretty well by herself once we’re home (I think she likes the calm of all those crazy big kids being gone) and I can get a couple of hours of work in (we have a new job thing going on over here that I’m really excited to share).  Then we move into lunch (sometimes with Daddy) and naptime, and before I know it, Djeryd’s home.  It’s crazy how the day flies with all the comings and goings of our little family.

Erik and I still try to get in some chess after school whenever we can.  Some days are easier than others.  I love that he’s always willing to play with me.  ;>

And just in case we have a day where things are slow, I’m working on helping this little girl to be a big girl.  And can I just say potty-training my fourth is considerably less frustrating than potty-training my first.  Why did I ever think it was such a big deal?  That being said, I am a terrible potty-trainer.  But I’m okay with that – at least I’m enjoying it this time around.  Alyx and I listen to music and read and play Barbies and ponies for hours in the bathroom and I love it.  I get the laundry folded and little hand-sewing projects wrapped up and I get to enjoy having my daughter all to myself.  I do not believe she will be fully trained for another six months (who knows, maybe a year), but I don’t really care.  We take it one day at a time, one hour at a time.  It will happen when she’s darn good and ready.

In the meantime, I’m just trying to enjoy all these little moments that make up my life right now.  I keep thinking about how this phase of my life will all be over before I know it.  Whatever I do, I don’t want to wish it away, or wish it faster (even though there are those moments).  I can’t hang on to it, but I can immerse myself in it.  I am consciously diving in.  Swimsuit, anyone?

Summer, Interrupted

I have been really, truly trying to look forward to this day for at least a month.  But in the end I couldn’t quite succeed in my intended attitude change.  I cried yesterday after all my sweet children were in bed with visions of the first day of school prancing through their sleepy little heads.  I came downstairs, walked into the living room and was instantly surrounded by pictures of my loves and I just wanted to freeze time.  Not for forever.  But just for a little bit longer.

But today came and went with no regard for my feelings.  Sean trotted off with Djeryd in the early hours, and I trotted off with the littles an hour later.

Lu and I tried not to feel forlorn.  Lu stayed busy with puzzles and beads and books and songs.  I stayed busy cleaning out the cupboards in the laundry room.  I came across this quote in my efforts to spruce things up. 

(source)

It only made me weepy again.  I don’t normally feel this way when school starts, but this year is different for some reason.  Maybe it’s Djeryd starting middle school.  Maybe it’s having only one child at home with me all day long.  Maybe I’m just realizing how frighteningly fast life is happening.

The good part is everyone came home happy and shining with something so fresh and new and exciting in their lives.  I’m happy for them.

I could not help snapping this last picture as Alyx and I walked through the gate this morning; back into a yard and house that would be so quiet and still when compared to the constant noise and activity of the past three months.  This bit of our life, obviously interrupted.  It’s as if we were in the middle of a great game of tag, screaming in delight and cheering each other on, when all of a sudden the ice cream truck pulled up, and my children are just . . . gone.

Alyx's Blessing

 

Our sweet little Alyxandria Brynn was blessed yesterday. It was such a wonderful, beautiful day. And it was a gift to learn a little bit more about my daughter and the wonderful person she will become. She was blessed in a dress I made in college. So far eight little girls in my family have been blessed in that dress, including Annaliese. I have loved pulling that dress out for each precious one.

 

We had lots of loved ones with us to celebrate the occasion (and Annabelle's birthday, too). The house was full of happy cousins delighted to spend the day together. Sean's aunt and uncle came all the way from Wisconsin to be with us. It was an absolute treat of a weekend to spend so much time with them. If the whole world were made up of such people, what a wonderful place it would be. The only down side was I was virtually sister-less yesterday due to a variety of reasons. Katrina, thank you for filling in. ;> (To the rest of you, I missed you terribly.)

 

Life is so beautiful. I am so in love with this little person; so in love with all four of my little people. What a joy it is to be a mother (on the good days). ;> 

 

(Don't you just want to gobble up that scrumptious baby?!?!?)

In a Nutshell

I would love to post some big long posts with lots of pictures and intelligent thoughts. That is not a possibility. So this is what you all get: some one-liners on what's been swimming around my brain these past few weeks.

:: We watched Stand and Deliver in honor of Mr. Escalanta's death last week - man, we lead an easy life.

:: Fevers and fevers and fevers, oh my!

:: I have consumed more Advil over the past three weeks than I have over my entire life combined - times ten - I jest not.

:: I can feel the control I used to wield every day evaporating from my life - I think I like it better this way.

:: General Conference was AMAZING - virtually every talk was written just for me.

:: We bought a wii - finally - and borrowed a separate TV to hook it up to. I am desperately praying we will not regret the decision (we have not had a television for over 10 years - this is uncharted territory).

:: A daily shower is priceless.

:: Any daddy who gets up with his baby in the middle of the night so his wife can sleep is a saint - Sean, you have a very shiny halo.

:: I realized I am not going to get any decent pictures of my spring blooms because I am too tired to go outside and snap the shots - and I really don't care - there's always next year.

:: Disneyland is only a year and half away - yea!!!!

:: I LOVE having four kids - life is seriously good.

:: My baby is so very scrumptious!

Gun Control

I have definite feelings about guns in my house. Not only the real ones, but the little kid play kind. I have never liked guns (although I do have an isolated happy memory of shooting a rifle with my grandpa). The Columbine High School shootings canvased the news while I was pregnant with Djeryd. I remember sitting in my living room watching the horror unfold while holding my little belly wondering what kind of world I was bringing this child into. On top of that, when I was a teenager a friend of mine experienced a tragic accident involving a gun kept in the home.

I vowed then and there to never let a gun, or anything like unto it, into my home. We did really good until last week. Water pistols have reared their bright orange plastic heads around here from time to time, but I throw them away as soon as I can. Last week my kids brought home toy guns from Grandma's house (I'm not mad at you Mom, don't worry). I was stunned. And shocked. My kids chose to buy little toy guns?? Even when they knew they would probably be confiscated the moment I saw them? Sure they make guns out of Legos (and cardboard, and sticks, and scraps of wood, and . . .) from time to time, but this was different. Anyway, it made me stop and think.

Have I been just a little overboard with this whole gun thing? I mean I remember playing cops and robbers when I was a kid. I think we always used our fingers for guns, but still. When I see my kids playing cop games shivers run down my spine as I imagine them thinking a life of crime (or crime fighting) is somehow glamorous. My imagination runs wild and I get scared that they will develop a fascination with weapons, with violence.

But when I pause for a moment I realize, because we don't have a TV and we are extremely selective about what films our children watch, that my children are not even exposed to violence, much less inundated with it. They show no more propensity towards shoot 'em up stuff than kids who played cowboys and Indians in the 50's. I believe the play is innocent, and kids being kids (yes, my sweet little Annabelle even wields a Lego gun from time to time - sigh) will play good vs. evil games - especially boys. My mom is always telling me that boys are born to protect. It is simply (and beautifully) part of their nature. They play at it as boys to learn how to use that instinct wisely as men.

So, for the time being, I have decided to let the guns stay. I have absolutely NO intention of ever buying one, but I'm choosing to ride this one out and see what happens. After all, I can't control everything, and I'm learning I really don't want to.